character musings
Jan. 12th, 2023 07:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sidewaysApropos of starting to poke at Deadfire again occasionally, some headcanons on death godlikes in general / Neus specifically:
• I find "their facial growths are transparent from the inside!" a rather silly explanation for how death godlikes are able to see, so I prefer to say there is nothing 'underneath' for Neus - they sprout directly from her flesh like a mole would. The growths are similarly warm to the touch, much firmer and less sensitive than her bare skin, though not wholly inflexible and still able to feel some sensation. When Neus is in the pink of health, they are flush through in veins of amaranthine; when she is unwell, they fade to plainer grey. If broken or scored deeply, they ooze until they scar over and leave the surface paler and more rigid.
• How does she see if there aren't any eyeballs under there? Truth be told, Neus doesn't know either! Godlikes are a bit of a medical mystery. All she knows is she has 360 vision on both a sunny day and in the depths of a lightless cavern, and is particularly good at picking out life signs - all the more so if they're fading. The downside is she's actually quite short-sighted: past about 10 yards details rapidly vanish into blurry absence, so for all that she can't be surprised from behind she's at a disadvantage when facing anyone with range. Paintings of beautiful scenery evoke a certain wistfulness; sunsets and starry nights and distant mountain ranges are not a thing she gets to enjoy in anything but the vaguest sense. She suspects colours are brighter for other people as well.
• No matter how fit and healthy Neus is, she looks one bad spell away from her own grave. Uneven teeth, yellowed and sharp, behind chapped lips that cut into the skin above and below. Brittle discoloured nails. Sharp ridges of bone pressing up underneath blotchily greyed, papery skin. Hair that would have been tightly coiled and buoyant in another life falling limp around her shoulders in a thin, amorphous cloud, further distorting her silhouette in the gloom. She doesn't stink of the most noxious sort of rot, mercifully, but there is an undeniably musty smell following her around.
• I chose the helmet-head growth shape in the game mostly because it let me match an available portrait to the available in-game figure, lol. In actuality I picture something less neatly symmetrical and more polypore, the growths overlapping across the contours of her skull and creeping unevenly down her face, stopping just above her ears and before the horizon of her nose.
• As a youngster she was neurotically self-conscious of her appearance - difficult not to be when her parents kept her hidden anywhere that was not the ship, and her brief time on the streets proved how hostile people could become at a glance - and rarely ever emerged from the security of thick hooded robes. As an adult she's gained enough peace to be able to sit happily in the open with friends, but remains too aware people may find her unpleasant to look at, and too quick to take it upon herself to adjust herself for their comfort. She does at least have some fun when settled somewhere long enough for domesticity - she likes to tie brightly patterned scarves and bandanas around her head.
• Why are godlikes described as 'blessed' by their gods but so often treated with suspicion? Why would you risk insulting Literally The Reincarnation God? I can only assume there are differing interpretations of what it means to be marked. Neus is painfully familiar with some of the unfriendlier beliefs: for example, that it means a twisted soul that has escaped the wheel before its time and should be returned as quickly as possible, lest Berath's growing displeasure at your refusal of this duty bring calamity down around you.
• This was also something that took a lot of overcoming: the fear she really was marked because of some wrongness in her soul, and was a harbinger of ill fortune. No the events of Pillars of Eternity were not at all helpful in this regard thank you.
• Her Awakened past life clearly shared some of those reservations - Kova was aggressively unhappy with the body she shared, and one of the ways the others knew to spot her presence was a sudden, flinching self-disgust.
• Symbolic associations: sea otters, fungi, death's head moths, the colour yellow, friendly skeletons.
• I find "their facial growths are transparent from the inside!" a rather silly explanation for how death godlikes are able to see, so I prefer to say there is nothing 'underneath' for Neus - they sprout directly from her flesh like a mole would. The growths are similarly warm to the touch, much firmer and less sensitive than her bare skin, though not wholly inflexible and still able to feel some sensation. When Neus is in the pink of health, they are flush through in veins of amaranthine; when she is unwell, they fade to plainer grey. If broken or scored deeply, they ooze until they scar over and leave the surface paler and more rigid.
• How does she see if there aren't any eyeballs under there? Truth be told, Neus doesn't know either! Godlikes are a bit of a medical mystery. All she knows is she has 360 vision on both a sunny day and in the depths of a lightless cavern, and is particularly good at picking out life signs - all the more so if they're fading. The downside is she's actually quite short-sighted: past about 10 yards details rapidly vanish into blurry absence, so for all that she can't be surprised from behind she's at a disadvantage when facing anyone with range. Paintings of beautiful scenery evoke a certain wistfulness; sunsets and starry nights and distant mountain ranges are not a thing she gets to enjoy in anything but the vaguest sense. She suspects colours are brighter for other people as well.
• No matter how fit and healthy Neus is, she looks one bad spell away from her own grave. Uneven teeth, yellowed and sharp, behind chapped lips that cut into the skin above and below. Brittle discoloured nails. Sharp ridges of bone pressing up underneath blotchily greyed, papery skin. Hair that would have been tightly coiled and buoyant in another life falling limp around her shoulders in a thin, amorphous cloud, further distorting her silhouette in the gloom. She doesn't stink of the most noxious sort of rot, mercifully, but there is an undeniably musty smell following her around.
• I chose the helmet-head growth shape in the game mostly because it let me match an available portrait to the available in-game figure, lol. In actuality I picture something less neatly symmetrical and more polypore, the growths overlapping across the contours of her skull and creeping unevenly down her face, stopping just above her ears and before the horizon of her nose.
• As a youngster she was neurotically self-conscious of her appearance - difficult not to be when her parents kept her hidden anywhere that was not the ship, and her brief time on the streets proved how hostile people could become at a glance - and rarely ever emerged from the security of thick hooded robes. As an adult she's gained enough peace to be able to sit happily in the open with friends, but remains too aware people may find her unpleasant to look at, and too quick to take it upon herself to adjust herself for their comfort. She does at least have some fun when settled somewhere long enough for domesticity - she likes to tie brightly patterned scarves and bandanas around her head.
• Why are godlikes described as 'blessed' by their gods but so often treated with suspicion? Why would you risk insulting Literally The Reincarnation God? I can only assume there are differing interpretations of what it means to be marked. Neus is painfully familiar with some of the unfriendlier beliefs: for example, that it means a twisted soul that has escaped the wheel before its time and should be returned as quickly as possible, lest Berath's growing displeasure at your refusal of this duty bring calamity down around you.
• This was also something that took a lot of overcoming: the fear she really was marked because of some wrongness in her soul, and was a harbinger of ill fortune. No the events of Pillars of Eternity were not at all helpful in this regard thank you.
• Her Awakened past life clearly shared some of those reservations - Kova was aggressively unhappy with the body she shared, and one of the ways the others knew to spot her presence was a sudden, flinching self-disgust.
• Symbolic associations: sea otters, fungi, death's head moths, the colour yellow, friendly skeletons.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-12 09:22 pm (UTC)Nothing about that past life was easy to deal with >>a Gdi Kova.
Honestly it's funny that PoE lore makes such a big deal over death godlikes being a dreaded thing, but even in the first game I don't remember running into anyone who gave Neus real grief? Informed cultural trait, lol. She does always appreciate finding people who run on the neutral to positive scale for sure, though, EXCEPT FOR RAEDRIC.
I haven't progressed far enough in Deadfire to know with certainty how their personal quests will pan out, but she admired Pallegina in the first game even she didn't relate to how she felt about being connected to Hylea. I also wrote a small musing somewhere on how she feels about Tekehu so far, because that's a whole thing:
"Tekehu's prideful nature grates less on Neus than some of the others (Aloth in particular is at risk of giving himself eye strain with all that rolling). It's a little amusing, she can tell it's not wholly unearned, and that he has a compassionate spirit is more important to her. It even leaves her a bit wistful to see a godlike capable of being arrogant, though she's taken keen note of the flashes of insecurity that have started shining through. A people's love is certainly an easier burden than their fear, but she can sympathise very much with the discomfort that comes of being judged / valued for what you are, instead of who. For his part, Tekehu has seemed surprised and uncertainly grateful to be offered that much understanding, even if he's not yet great at taking a friendly ribbing."
no subject
Date: 2023-01-14 12:00 am (UTC)I've only played just over an hour of POE1 myself (though I've spoiled myself thoroughly and will be jumping back to it as soon as I'm done with POE2 endgame), but I do remember being surprised at everyone taking the fire hair and lava veins in their stride! Meanwhile, it feels like every third person in the Deadfire has something to say about it - my favourite was the moon godlike bathhouse manager in Neketaka who told us not to set fire to the towels.
Awww, I love that quote. Neuuuus. ♥ She's much more patient with Tekēhu than my own Watcher initially was, ha - they did not get along at first, in part because he reminded her far too much of her younger self (even if she was never quite so exalted, being born a [fire] godlike in a small Deadfire community is still a pretty high position). It took a few harrowing adventures together for her to start warming up to him. (Oh, nooo, Aloth's eye-rolling. Aloth, your eyes are going to roll right out of your head!)
I feel like Deadfire must be an interesting one to play through as a death godlike. What does Neus think about the Berath-iness of it all so far?
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Date: 2023-01-16 08:16 am (UTC)Godlikes were added in as playable characters as a kickstarter extra, so I do wonder if they just hadn't allowed themselves quite enough to fully bake them into the narrative? Whereas yes, Deadfire feels a little more integrated.
Vaiahi didn't cop too much grief in her youth then?
Berath sure is vocal in Deadfire :| Neus is... conflicted, a little, shall we say? She's tried to attach various purpose to why she's marked the way she is throughout her life, and historically regarded Berath with great respect; be this gift or trial, she'll do her best by it. After POE1, though, it's, you know, it's complicated. She hasn't tilted over into resentment (yet) but like. Sir and/or ma'am. What are you doing. Yours sincerely, a distant relative or something.
no subject
Date: 2023-01-21 12:15 am (UTC)Aaaah, that makes sense. I didn't realise their playability was a bonus. I mean, I'm not going to complain - getting to play one is cool even if/when it does feel like more people should be reacting to her being Made of Active Volcanism.
The character creator blurb for fire godlike in Deadfire says they're "objects of both reverence and fear in the Deadfire Archipelago" (part of the reason I decided to play one was thinking about what kind of person a firelike character might grow into under those circumstances - that, and they just look incredibly cool in a non-literal sense), so I think she would have occupied a high, lonely position as a child. Always getting the best of everything + being set apart from her peers + what seemed like the whole world nudging her toward a priestly vocation she had zero aptitude for = a rather snooty, defensive young adult, before time on the road/at sea knocked a lot of that out of her. (It's quite funny to me that the only other place she's settled in long enough to call 'home' is the Dyrwood, where fire godlike are also considered to be a blessing from Magran. Pretty impressive she managed to stay as down-to-earth as she is, really.)
Deadfire Berath is A Lot(tm). I'm not surprised Neus is struggling a bit. :/ I fully support this Letter of Complaint/Questioning Concern.