not today or tomorrow

Welcome to sideways :)

• Winger, mid 30s, she/her, Australian. There are few things I love more than being told stories, and occasionally I engage in story-telling as a strange side-effect. I'm especially interested in filling up my reading page with people sharing their writing journeys and/or media commentary, and if I subscribe out of the blue it's usually because I think it would be fun to follow along.

• Mostly a media musing blog, occasional observations from life. I keep chatter about my work under private access these days but if you ask I'll likely grant it - and you certainly don't have to ask permission to comment or unsubscribe! Some key tags include:
→ paperwork: general chatter
→ fiction: all writing
→ media roundup: commentary on recent media

• There are many things that spark my enthusiasm, some of which I've written for. A short list of things you'll always grab my interest with include:
( blorp )

• I track my video game playing at GG.

• I'm arkosic on AO3 and PS4, and you can catch me over at darkwingerduck on Tumblr.

I need to quit my job so bad 😐

But first! A holiday.

Well! That was certainly an election.

My greatest fear was that we'd see a repeat of 2019, when the (incumbent) conservative Coalition won over one of Labor's more centre-left offerings despite campaigning almost exclusively on "see how this guy wants to change things, arguably for the better? yeah we simply won't do any of that" - or worse, a crushing conservative victory founded entirely in nationalist scare tactics such as in 2013, supported by a Trump-inspired far right surge amidst the fringe parties like One Nation and Palmer's latest and most cringe-inducing effort yet to ride the populist wave ('Trumpets for Patriots'? gaaaaag).

My greatest hope was that we'd see the trends of 2022 continue instead, strengthening the crossbench with a slew of socially-left minorities and independents to bolster Labor as the leading party while also holding them accountable and dragging them away from their more centre-right proclivities. I've been a political donor these last three years for the first time in my life - those shock successes through Climate 200 had me paying attention.

...And we didn't get either of these things! But we did get a hell of a lot closer to the second than the first with the Coalition taking the absolute worst ass-beating of its life - so bad leader Peter Dutton lost his own seat, a viciously vindicating moment for anyone who's had a healthy loathing of the man since he spent his time in border security pissing on refugees. One Nation saw a small surge, but nothing like I was most sweating about, and Trumpets for Patriots seems to have netted little but memes about how annoying everyone found it being constantly texted by the guy.

On top of that, the Teal independents are holding strong! Reports suggest that the vast majority are holding their seats and are actually seeing a strong swing from being second to first preference, and they may even scoop up one or two new seats. Thrilling! I love it! Keep going!

The downside to all this is seeing the Greens backslide massively from their 2022 wins, which is not totally surprising when you look into the complex machinations of preferences, but still dampens the mood a bit by confirming Australia still simply is not ready to consider true reform on the social and environmental fronts. They did still see an overall increase in first preferences, I believe, and have maintained a healthy presence in the Senate, so that's something.

What are the Coalition going to do from here? Self-destruct, one almost hopes... certainly there has been an amount of denial and doubling-down spilling out from predictable quarters. Ideally, they'd shape up and take some damn cues from the Teals already.

In the meantime, I'll take some heart in Albanese prioritising words like 'kindness' in his winning speech, emphasising his commitment to indigenous issues despite the catastrophe that was the Voice, and dedicating Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again to Dutton on the radio (no way, get fucked, fuck off!).

Anyway, if you'd rather skip my rambling, here's the obligatory "emotional election journey set to Offenbach" video.

I've never been a very committed cook, so it's always nice when I manage to get into at least a temporary routine of doing more home-cooking, trying a few new recipes, wheedling some extra nutrition in there. Recent successes include:

• My mother's recipe for florentine slice (oats, dried fruit, sweeteners) which has become my staple for lengthy client visits. It doesn't take long to make, the output is very reliable (unlike my many attempts at perfecting brownies), and it's always a hit with whoever I'm visiting. I used to just buy store-made Anzac biscuits or cakes, but homemade goods are the undeniably superior option when you're trying to build a connection. The office also seems to hoover up the leftovers with a speed that suggests the clients aren't just being polite.

• Mucking around with my recipes for beef & veg stew and spaghetti bolognese. With the former I've mostly been experimenting to see how much I can dial down the beef portion to pack more veg in, and with the latter I added some veg, played around with spices, and accidentally used lamb instead of beef mince, and it turned out so nice I'm inclined to do it again. They're of course ideal bulk meals too, so plenty of leftovers for the freezer.

• I don't remember what suddenly inspired me to try overnight oats. Possibly the bag of oats in my pantry? Anyway, that's been fun! I'm not terribly creative with it yet, but I like adding chia seeds and it's a good way to get some berries in my diet... at least whenever I can find berries for less than nine dollars, oh my god. I feel like the maple syrup I use as a sweetener is doing a bit too much heavy lifting, but I'm hoping to try and taper it off a bit, and find a few other nutritional additives. Mostly, though, I like that I can put it together in under five minutes and have a bit of breakfast ready for the next three days.

• I also finally, finally broke the seal on my blender and made myself a banana smoothie today. Delicious! The trick is using frozen bananas. As with the overnight oats, I don't think I can call this a terribly healthy meal, but it at least scratches the itch for a smoothie without forking out $14 at a cafe. I'm contemplating seeing if adding dates to the mixture works, hmm.

• Going to try making some gluten-free coconutty cheesecake balls tomorrow, as we're having a Biggest Morning Tea at work on Tuesday. Not something I'd risk in the heat of summer, but now that things have cooled down some I think I can serve them up without worrying they'll dissolve the second I put them out on a platter.

syntheid linked me to the video below, where people have used ChatGPT to create a fully voiced companion for Skyrim who responds to voice prompts.


Have to say... I'm not into it T-T Even setting aside everything that is already troublesome about ChatGPT, even setting aside the reflexive grimaces every time the demonstrator here says something particularly Stereotypical Male Gamer (it is weirdly infuriating to me that this guy never does say her name right), I can't get past feeling like this defeats the purpose of having companion characters in games. Skyrim is perhaps not the best hill to die on in this respect, since most of the characters in it are very flat, but on a wider scale the companions that linger fondly in memory are those who are well-rounded characters in their own right; written with a personality and a deliberate purpose within the narrative. Herika seems to mostly alternate between snarky and fawning - there are no hints of any actual goals or history or deeper traits, at least within the scope of what's shown in the video.

It's not a total negative, of course - the fact the AI can react more responsively to the gear that's equipped, remember past enemy encounters in its commentary, and respond to vocal requests and orders in combat? Genuinely pretty cool. And there is a certain wistful dream inherent in the idea of actually having a conversation with a character that's a little more fluid than a wheel of pre-determined options. To get to push the limits on what can be realistically achieved with a static script.

Alas, I cannot escape the general crawling uneasiness of watching voice actors being already undervalued in cinema, where people have come to prioritise star power over professionals, and now threatened in this corner as well. ChatGPT is a ways off being enjoyably immersive or human yet, but one has to expect that technology will improve. Not into it! At least Oblivion came by its terrible voice acting honestly!

1) Always a little fascinating, and sometimes perversely satisfying, to take a look at what's in the top kudos'd category of a fandom and conclude none of it's what you're after. RIP to 3,000 odd strangers I guess but we're clearly different people. (Other times it's exactly what I want and I am one of the triumphant sheeple. Ever a gamble. The best strategy ofc is finding someone who writes what you like and raiding their bookmarks ad infinitum.)

2) Weather's been absolutely stupid. Slightly cold for two days. Sudden rain, in June. Hot again! Wait, shit, it's still winter. Uh, mildly warm? Fuck it, hot.

3) Had my first home repair incident because I went to the loo in the middle of the night and put my foot in a puddle. Spent an embarrassingly extended few seconds trying to figure out if the roof was leaking or if I had somehow wee'd on the floor before concluding the toilet itself was the problem, and then commenced the journey of trying to get a plumber in, which was also a rather meandering process. Seems good now though, fingers crossed.

4) Honestly this time of year is awful financially, I feel like my bills are lining up to kick me around in a gutter and loot me for spare change. Peacock dryly reflected that you know you've crossed out of a certain life bracket when you go from "tax return, whee, free money!" to "tax return, whee, QUICK PAY THE CAR REGO".

5) Had a nice "oh I have come a ways" moment at work when I held my own in an argument over grass species. The old Winger could not have thrown down about the fact that white speargrass is, despite the common name, Aristida, and what's more there IS more than one species of Heteropogon commonly found in our region! Listening to people argue grass ID sounds is so funny though, there's a reason this image decorates my desk. We're trying so hard and guessing so much.

The web's sure getting wobbly. Twitter's a hole, Reddit's rioting, Tumblr keeps crowing about its invincibility even as worse features are being implemented directly in front of their salads, and AO3 is undergoing the kind of drama I am not equipped to summarise beyond "someone opened a can of worms and oh god the worms are everywhere and now the worms are fighting each other and the birds that were meant to eat the worms are also fighting each other oh god oh no".

One good thing to come out of this for me, personally, has been the drive to do a lot of backing-up and digital filing! I still keep chewing my thumbnail over whether to try and digitise the DVD library too... some of 'em are getting a little old and are in danger of your more standard physical decay. Woe to life on this ephemeral earth.

Me: I'm a fairly chill person when it comes to fandom stuff, it's fun but it's fiction and I- [sees discourse about the TLoU ending in the year 2023] [BURSTS INTO FLAME]

I don't actually think the world needs yet another essay on a video game ending that's been a source of ferocious analysis and debate for ten years now, but as I ruefully prop my aching feet up I have to concede that maybe just writing things down would be a better strategy than furiously pacing my hallway, arguing with strangers inside my head, for 45 minutes. Good grief.

(It's fine to debate the ethics of the choices made but the CONTEXT you have to couch it within the given CONTEXT.)

1) The drive from Coast to Town went well - it was definitely the right choice to split it across two days, though. Towards the end of the journey I drove straight into the wall of the monsoon and had to cautiously creep along for hours. At least roadworks were mostly on hold for the holiday season, and the coastal highway is in better condition than the inland one. Overtaking lanes are a blessing.

2) Lori came around Friday afternoon to exchange the potplants she'd been babysitting for the Aldi-brand noodles she'd requested as payment, and also dropped a small bomb by confessing she was planning on leaving to work in Canada for a year or two in 2024 if she could manage it. The choice makes sense - she's not yet tied down by a partner, kids, or a mortgage, so now's the time for such adventures - but it was still difficult to summon up enthusiasm about the prospect of my closest local friend moving away u_u

3) I've decided to put together a full media tracker spreadsheet for this year, since I kind of had fun last year tracking just books. We'll see if I keep it up, but as everyone knows, making lists is how fun happens.

4) I inherited a ridiculous number of kitchen containers while I was away as multiple people were looking to downsize and, well, who says no to free Tupperware? Paying for it now as I attempt to figure out where to store it all...

5) Back to work tomorrow. Le sigh.

1) Last year Spotify Wrapped judged my aura to be 'powerful and spooky', so I created a playlist to bemusedly capture all the songs I thought might have somehow earned that title. This year it hit me with "hardcore reminisce bogan" - and after howling with laughter I decided the tradition was worth keeping, so here's the Australiana playlist.

2) As promised/threatened, I revamped the character directory! Actually had rather a lot of fun messing around with carrd; it has its own style of logic but is pretty accommodating once you figure it out.

3) I may have also sneakily cross-posted and backdated various bits of fiction, including some incomplete snippets I still like nonetheless. There's 92 works under the !fiction tag now! Be cool to break 100.