what she isn't
Jul. 18th, 2013 09:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sidewaysTitle: What She Isn't
Rating: PG 13+
Series: Red Vs Blue (Connecticut, Texas)
Wordcount: 286
Warnings: Spoilers to the beginning of season nine, intensely pretentious.
Summary: AU - what if CT had gotten through to Tex?
Remarks: idk
She can’t seem to stop touching things. She runs her thumbnail along the rough-cut edge of a meal tray, stretches her arms up to where the shower spray is strongest, tugs the end of her fringe through her fingers in a compulsive gesture that was never hers. Of all the side-effects she might have expected—and she had expected something, braced her will and self against it—this is not what she had thought Tex would bring.
Despite her unease, it is easy to find the seam. Connie is quiet and cautious, with fitful bursts of irritation to hide fear and fitful bursts of fear to hide everything else. Tex thinks it is instead of it could be and steps with long strides from one emotion to the next and doesn’t hide her secrets so much as make clear the consequence for reaching after them. They do not harmonise; Connie-Tex may play silent tug-of-war sometimes, jostle over space and ideology, but there is no surfacing from a conversation to wonder which point of view belongs to which voice.
It shouldn’t last. It won’t; Connie makes mistakes and Allison always fails and there is none of the childish poetry to this joining that can bridge over the gaps made by steady hands that waver at the critical moment. For now, however, they find enough to make it work. There is too much at stake, too many who cannot defend themselves, for them to splinter into halved wholes just yet.
For now, they force the compromises and face the changes, both small and soul-shaking. A sudden taste for bell peppers, a daily reminder of inhumanity.
For now, she allows the fingers sketching lazy circles on her bare stomach.
Rating: PG 13+
Series: Red Vs Blue (Connecticut, Texas)
Wordcount: 286
Warnings: Spoilers to the beginning of season nine, intensely pretentious.
Summary: AU - what if CT had gotten through to Tex?
Remarks: idk
She can’t seem to stop touching things. She runs her thumbnail along the rough-cut edge of a meal tray, stretches her arms up to where the shower spray is strongest, tugs the end of her fringe through her fingers in a compulsive gesture that was never hers. Of all the side-effects she might have expected—and she had expected something, braced her will and self against it—this is not what she had thought Tex would bring.
Despite her unease, it is easy to find the seam. Connie is quiet and cautious, with fitful bursts of irritation to hide fear and fitful bursts of fear to hide everything else. Tex thinks it is instead of it could be and steps with long strides from one emotion to the next and doesn’t hide her secrets so much as make clear the consequence for reaching after them. They do not harmonise; Connie-Tex may play silent tug-of-war sometimes, jostle over space and ideology, but there is no surfacing from a conversation to wonder which point of view belongs to which voice.
It shouldn’t last. It won’t; Connie makes mistakes and Allison always fails and there is none of the childish poetry to this joining that can bridge over the gaps made by steady hands that waver at the critical moment. For now, however, they find enough to make it work. There is too much at stake, too many who cannot defend themselves, for them to splinter into halved wholes just yet.
For now, they force the compromises and face the changes, both small and soul-shaking. A sudden taste for bell peppers, a daily reminder of inhumanity.
For now, she allows the fingers sketching lazy circles on her bare stomach.
