poe2 liveblog: just so much philosophising
Sep. 4th, 2021 08:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sidewaysDeadfire is certainly looking ready to throw some curly choices Neus' way. That it is all Very Personal only makes it curlier.
Neus' relationship with the gods changed at the conclusion of the last game, after the revelations at Breith Eaman - the discovery they are a social engineering experiment constructed by an ancient civilisation to enforce a uniformity of belief and moral structure across the entire world is going to require some theological reevaluation, no two ways about it. She had wanted to believe she was reinforcing a good power in the world, or at least its echo. She had wanted to live with assurance. It kind of hurt to have that particular balloon so thoroughly punctured.
At the same time, Neus' faith had already been complicated. She was the child of sailors who spoke to the silent sea with respectful affection, and traded frequently with craftsmen who cast their pledges to the iron golem. She was marked at birth by Berath for reasons ultimately unknown by kith, but so darkly speculated upon that it cost her a home and a family, and more than once nearly her life. She found safety and meaning with a group of ex-military zealots worshipping a dead deity, who also happened to be some of the kindest folk she'd ever met. Hell, she had been a dangerous religious fanatic in a past life! The divine has left its fingerprints all over her; the one thing she cannot deny is that they are as much a part of the world as she is.
A priesthood is a duty. Before Breith Eaman, that duty had been cobbled together from traditional doctrine and Neus' own beliefs and experiences, and manifested under the simple umbrella of "do good; be kind". After Breith Eaman, the duty changed shape a little. The gods had not given kith values and meaning - the kith had given those to the gods, and trusted them to oversee those into the eternal future. As a priest, she had always been a bridge of sorts; as one of the very few who knew the truth, it was now a bridge she guarded. To her fellow kith, the duty was much the same: give aid, guidance, and comfort. To the gods, though, she slowly shifted towards being the watcher of the watchmen. They were no more objectively correct than any kith; they just had ridiculous amounts of power backing them up. If their influence in an individual's life was good, then all was well. If it was perhaps doing a person harm... the type of counsel she gave had changed. It was as much as she could do at first, to mediate the individual's relationship with the divine. Pebbles collecting in a stream.
Then of course Deadfire happened, and all of a sudden the gods are up in Neus' shit, all of the time, giving her ample opportunity to debate them to their faces. So that's been convenient, really.
Having Eothas erupt from below Caed Nua and soul-siphon some 300 people was... upsetting. Neus was young enough to escape any personal angst from the Saint's War, but she grew up with its disillusioned soldiers, and it would have been nice if Eothas hadn't continued to make things weird for everyone by taking actions that resulted in horrific death tolls. She is a Priest of Eothas; she didn't need Berath's meddling to push her to chase after him. If he is doing wrong, then it is her calling to kick him in his giant adra ankle and send him to his room to think about what he's done.
It still shook her to speak with him, briefly and directly, through the adra link. Despite everything... that's her god. That's her god. And he sounded as warm and joyous as she had always imagined, and he assured her he was doing something good, and that's two decades of belief and her god. He has caused so much destruction and he needs to Cut It The Hell Out, but she can't yet make herself say truthfully that she wants him brought down or revenged upon. She hedges her way around the pointed questions for now: I don't know; I need more information; I need to catch up with him and make contact and find out what he's doing. Then, then, I can decide. I'm sorry, she whispers to the murdered - many of which are abandoned souls she herself collects. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You deserve better. Didn't she pledge to do better? It's just hard, when it's her god.
Woedica tells her some of the pantheon believe that mortals deserve the chance to outgrow the need for gods. Neus has been brooding on it ever since.
On top of all this, there are geopolitical dramas brewing that Neus will inevitably be drawn into, as is the terrible fate of all video game protagonists, so there are cultural emotional churnings going on as well. I think I wrote that Neus was about nine or ten when she was separated from her family, and subsequently from Vailian merchant life. That's still old enough for there to be some persisting beliefs and attachments - and she is somewhat enjoying her time in the archipelago as a result. It's a bittersweet pleasure, though. Favourite foods she's only rarely tasted in the years since, fashions that feel distantly familiar, a life she could have had, had things been different. Once upon a time a ship was home and cage both; now she's a captain, which would never have been permitted for a death godlike, and she speaks with governors and queens. It's a funny feeling. I genuinely don't know which of the Parties With Interests she'll side with yet. Probably not the pirates.
tl;dr: It's only been ten hours of gameplay and Neus is already having A Time. Send help.
To wrap this rambling post up, a wee aesthetic board for our local conflicted death godlike :)
Meanwhile I cross-posted the old PoE 1 adventures over to this blog for centralised storage, so that's all there under Neus' character tag now.
Neus' relationship with the gods changed at the conclusion of the last game, after the revelations at Breith Eaman - the discovery they are a social engineering experiment constructed by an ancient civilisation to enforce a uniformity of belief and moral structure across the entire world is going to require some theological reevaluation, no two ways about it. She had wanted to believe she was reinforcing a good power in the world, or at least its echo. She had wanted to live with assurance. It kind of hurt to have that particular balloon so thoroughly punctured.
At the same time, Neus' faith had already been complicated. She was the child of sailors who spoke to the silent sea with respectful affection, and traded frequently with craftsmen who cast their pledges to the iron golem. She was marked at birth by Berath for reasons ultimately unknown by kith, but so darkly speculated upon that it cost her a home and a family, and more than once nearly her life. She found safety and meaning with a group of ex-military zealots worshipping a dead deity, who also happened to be some of the kindest folk she'd ever met. Hell, she had been a dangerous religious fanatic in a past life! The divine has left its fingerprints all over her; the one thing she cannot deny is that they are as much a part of the world as she is.
A priesthood is a duty. Before Breith Eaman, that duty had been cobbled together from traditional doctrine and Neus' own beliefs and experiences, and manifested under the simple umbrella of "do good; be kind". After Breith Eaman, the duty changed shape a little. The gods had not given kith values and meaning - the kith had given those to the gods, and trusted them to oversee those into the eternal future. As a priest, she had always been a bridge of sorts; as one of the very few who knew the truth, it was now a bridge she guarded. To her fellow kith, the duty was much the same: give aid, guidance, and comfort. To the gods, though, she slowly shifted towards being the watcher of the watchmen. They were no more objectively correct than any kith; they just had ridiculous amounts of power backing them up. If their influence in an individual's life was good, then all was well. If it was perhaps doing a person harm... the type of counsel she gave had changed. It was as much as she could do at first, to mediate the individual's relationship with the divine. Pebbles collecting in a stream.
Then of course Deadfire happened, and all of a sudden the gods are up in Neus' shit, all of the time, giving her ample opportunity to debate them to their faces. So that's been convenient, really.
Having Eothas erupt from below Caed Nua and soul-siphon some 300 people was... upsetting. Neus was young enough to escape any personal angst from the Saint's War, but she grew up with its disillusioned soldiers, and it would have been nice if Eothas hadn't continued to make things weird for everyone by taking actions that resulted in horrific death tolls. She is a Priest of Eothas; she didn't need Berath's meddling to push her to chase after him. If he is doing wrong, then it is her calling to kick him in his giant adra ankle and send him to his room to think about what he's done.
It still shook her to speak with him, briefly and directly, through the adra link. Despite everything... that's her god. That's her god. And he sounded as warm and joyous as she had always imagined, and he assured her he was doing something good, and that's two decades of belief and her god. He has caused so much destruction and he needs to Cut It The Hell Out, but she can't yet make herself say truthfully that she wants him brought down or revenged upon. She hedges her way around the pointed questions for now: I don't know; I need more information; I need to catch up with him and make contact and find out what he's doing. Then, then, I can decide. I'm sorry, she whispers to the murdered - many of which are abandoned souls she herself collects. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You deserve better. Didn't she pledge to do better? It's just hard, when it's her god.
Woedica tells her some of the pantheon believe that mortals deserve the chance to outgrow the need for gods. Neus has been brooding on it ever since.
On top of all this, there are geopolitical dramas brewing that Neus will inevitably be drawn into, as is the terrible fate of all video game protagonists, so there are cultural emotional churnings going on as well. I think I wrote that Neus was about nine or ten when she was separated from her family, and subsequently from Vailian merchant life. That's still old enough for there to be some persisting beliefs and attachments - and she is somewhat enjoying her time in the archipelago as a result. It's a bittersweet pleasure, though. Favourite foods she's only rarely tasted in the years since, fashions that feel distantly familiar, a life she could have had, had things been different. Once upon a time a ship was home and cage both; now she's a captain, which would never have been permitted for a death godlike, and she speaks with governors and queens. It's a funny feeling. I genuinely don't know which of the Parties With Interests she'll side with yet. Probably not the pirates.
tl;dr: It's only been ten hours of gameplay and Neus is already having A Time. Send help.
To wrap this rambling post up, a wee aesthetic board for our local conflicted death godlike :)
Meanwhile I cross-posted the old PoE 1 adventures over to this blog for centralised storage, so that's all there under Neus' character tag now.
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